Hello, everyone. This is Searita from Burning Love Outreach. And we are here today to talk about why you should forgive yourself.

First of all, you should forgive yourself so that you can be successful in your recovery process from drug and alcohol abuse. And when you choose to forgive yourself, you’re making a mature decision that “I am changing the trajectory of my life.” No longer are you willing to play the blame game anymore, because usually when you’re an active user of alcohol and drugs, you play the blame game. You blame everybody else for your mistakes, for things that are happening in your life when it’s actually you who have caused these things to happen. But you have to get to the point of where you say, “I choose to forgive myself.” And so you can move forward in your recovery process. Because as an active user, you probably have done a lot of bad things. You probably have cheated on your spouse. You probably have stolen from people that you love. You may have screwed up your job, or your career even committed crimes that you normally would have not done if you hadn’t been under the influence of drugs. So for those who are in the recovery process or those who are considering changing their life for the better, learn to forgive yourself so that you can be successful at whatever it is that you put your hands to and that you can leave the life of drugs behind you.

All of your mistakes, you cannot undo. None of us can undo the mistakes that we have made, but we can put our best foot forward and to changing our lives for the better. And we know that addiction is a chronic illness and you’re really not a bad person, you’re just a sick person who needs a chance to recover. And once you make that decision that I am going to forgive myself for all the things that I have done, then you’re on the right road to success.

And if you like, it’ll be a great idea if you could amend relationships that have been severed because of your drug use. If you can do that with certain individuals, I would suggest that you try to do it. But if you can’t, you know what, still continue to move forward in your recovery process. And those that you can go to and ask for their forgiveness, say that you’re sorry, do it. Stand up to your mistakes. Take responsibility for the things that you have done wrong so that you can just continue to move forward.

And I know many of us and me too, I’ve walked this road. I’ve been in your shoes. Those who are using drugs or those who are in recovery, I have been in your shoes. That’s why this outreach has been started. Burning Love Outreach has been started so that I can help those who are in the recovery process and those who are addicted to drugs, but you have to start somewhere. And the place that you start is admitting that you have a problem and then admitting that you need to forgive yourself so that you can get the proper help that you need.

The best decision that you can make for you and your loved ones is to start making different choices. And a lot of times family has been hurt so deeply by your drug use that trust has been betrayed and they don’t trust you anymore. And you have to earn that trust back. But if they see that you are making solid choices, that you’re really putting in effort to change your life, most family members are willing to step in and help you and forgive you. Because deep down they love you, but your drug use has changed their outlook because you became dishonest and they couldn’t trust you. So when that happens, a lot of hurt takes place. And we have to try to get over that hurt and restore the love. And hopefully forgiveness is in their hearts and they can forgive you so that they can truly support you in your recovery process.

Now you may say, well, how do I forgive myself? You know what, you could start by writing down the things that you have done. Write down all of the bad things that you’ve done, all the people that you have hurt, and just go over it and process in your mind the way that you want to make up for this. And then hopefully you could share your feelings with someone. Because if you’re in drug rehab, they usually have meetings. There are groups, there are sponsors, there are ministers, there are counselors that you could talk to. It’s really important, I believe, is to sit down and speak to someone about the things that you have done so that you can get the proper help that you need. One on one conversations with individuals work really well. If you’re comfortable sitting down with someone, with a counselor, a minister, a sponsor, or someone, and talk about these things, they usually can give you very good advice on how to start that process of forgiving yourself and restoring your relationship with your loved ones.

You definitely don’t want to make the mistake of speaking to someone who would be judgemental. That’s not the type of person that you want to speak to. I would suggest speaking to someone who has been down this road before, or a professional who could help you to start that forgiveness process and move forward. You got to get in the habit also of giving yourself credit because as an ex crack addict myself, every day that you don’t use is a good day when you are in the recovery process. Every day that you do not use as a good day. So start giving yourself credit, give yourself a pat on the back for every day that you are successful, every day that you do not relapse and go back and use. It’s okay to do that. It’s okay to praise yourself, long as you don’t become arrogant or boastful, but to give yourself credit for yes, I made it through another day. I made it through another day. That’s okay. And I want you to learn to congratulate yourself every day.

And also you can make affirmations. Affirmations are very good. That you affirm that I forgive myself. I love myself. I’m going to do better. I am doing better. I am the child of a king. Whatever affirmations are that you decide to make, make those affirmations every day and you will be successful.

Now, if you want to reach out to Burning Love Ministry, well Burning Love Outreach, I must say. We are here for you. We want to help you. Thank you for watching this video. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us. You can go to our website, burningloveoutreach.org, that’s the best place, just to go to our website because you can contact us there. You can put in a prayer request there, you can put a testimony there. And also we are asking for other individuals who are out there, if you would please consider partnering with us because this is a nonprofit organization and your financial help is appreciated so that we can continue to work and put information out for those who are addicted to drugs and those who are trying to recover.

We want to help them. We want to be here for them, and we would appreciate your support of this outreach so that we can continue to change lives and help people to get on the right track, stay on the right track, follow up with them and to help them to become a part of society again. So thank you for watching this video and bye-bye for now.

Have you ever felt like giving up? Searita Jones shares her story on 100 Huntley Street with Cheryl Weber.

Cheryl Weber:
Have you ever felt like giving up, I know I have, that things are just too hard, too complicated, or your life is never going to change? My guest today hit that wall, but today she says she’s found a peace and a joy that keeps her going. Searita, thank you so much for joining us.

Searita Jones:
Thank you for having me, Cheryl.

Cheryl Weber:
So, what was it that you hit that bottom? I know you were married, you and your husband were addicted. Tell me about life, what life was like in those days?

Searita Jones:
Life was very difficult, it just felt like nothing was going right in our lives, everything was just falling down around us. We couldn’t keep our heads above water, financially. We were both working and employed, but life was just hard.

Cheryl Weber:
When I say you’re addicted, you were both addicted to crack cocaine, this wasn’t a small addiction.

Searita Jones:
No.

Cheryl Weber:
So, how was that driving things?

Searita Jones:
That was very difficult. We ended up losing everything. Ended up losing everything and having to start our lives all over again, in Massachusetts.

Cheryl Weber:
And you didn’t just lose everything, you ended up losing that marriage, being a single mom, three kids. Tell me about that.

Searita Jones:
That was a very difficult time in my life, too. I managed to stay employed. Also, managed to, miraculously, by the will of God, educate my children, my two sons. They actually were enrolled in private schools, went to private boarding schools during all of this.

Cheryl Weber:
Wow. How did you do that?

Searita Jones:
I just look back and I just say it was God. It was God that opened up those doors.

Cheryl Weber:
Now, you were not necessarily somebody who had a relationship with God during those years, so tell me about how you and God were relating, when now you say it was God?

Searita Jones:
I was always brought up in church, I used to sing in church, my mother was director of the Youth Department in our church, so I had a spiritual background, but I never gave my life to the Lord.

Cheryl Weber:
Now, you cried out to God at one point, so, obviously, because you grew up in that, that was kind of natural for you. So, tell me about that conversation.

Searita Jones:
Many nights, I would wake up in the middle of the night and just fall on my knees and just cry out to God and ask him for help because my life seemed like it was spiraling out of control.

Cheryl Weber:
Now, you said you were a crack addict when you were married. What happened to that addiction? Was that still following through in your single motherhood?

Searita Jones:
Yes.

Cheryl Weber:
Wow. How do you raise kids on one salary, pay for the crack addiction, got into some sketchy things, shall we say?

Searita Jones:
Yes. Like I said, it was just a dark part of my life, I can’t even tell you how I got through it, but I was not honest with people, I told lies, a lot of lies. When you have an addiction, you’ll do whatever you can to feed that addiction and that’s what I did.

Cheryl Weber:
So, you told a lot of lies. How did you get money for your addiction?

Searita Jones:
Work.

Cheryl Weber:
So, you worked?

Searita Jones:
I worked.

Cheryl Weber:
There was some fraudulent checks in there, too.

Searita Jones:
There were a lot of fraudulent checks. I used to write worthless checks, return the merchandise to the store and get the money; at one point, you could do that. You can’t do that today, but, at one point, you could do that.

Cheryl Weber:
And so it took a while for God to respond to you. You’re crying out to him in the middle of the night, saying, “My life is spiraling down, I’m losing everything,” but, initially, you were kind of like, “Where are you?” So, tell me about that because that’s tough.

Searita Jones:
I describe it as I felt like I was on a side of a cliff and was just holding on with one hand, and just as my hand, that one hand, was about to let go and I was about to fall to my death, God reached his hands out and he grabbed me.

Cheryl Weber:
And he did that through a very special coworker that you were working with, he moved right across from you.

Searita Jones:
Yes.

Cheryl Weber:
What was it about him that was piquing your interest?

Searita Jones:
I just saw, in his continence, something different. He was a very young man, in his early 20s, and he wasn’t like your average 20-year-old, and I just knew that there was something different about him, and he invited me to a revival at his church one night.

Cheryl Weber:
So, what was that like?

Searita Jones:
That was awesome. I could feel the spirit of the Lord as soon as I walked through the doors of the church, and what I experienced that night was people being delivered, they were being set free, they were being healed, and the presence of the Lord was definitely in the sanctuary that night.

Cheryl Weber:
Wow. And so you saw something different, but nothing immediately changed. You ended up going to a Bible study with your coworker at lunch because you wanted him to pray for you to be free from cigarette addiction, right? Tell me about this.

Searita Jones:
Yes. One day, I asked him what was he doing for lunch and he said he was going to the church for noon-day prayer, and I told him, with a cigarette in my hand, I said, “You know what? I need to stop smoking these cigarettes,” so he invited me to come along with him.

Cheryl Weber:
And what happened?

Searita Jones:
I was set free and delivered. When I walked into that sanctuary, the minister who was there, her name was Pastor Jesse White, and she came over and she started praying for me, and the next thing I remember, I was being helped up off the floor, but I remember feeling different.

Cheryl Weber:
Wow. What changed then, after that? You felt different?

Searita Jones:
Yes. My whole life changed, everything about me changed. From that moment, when I got up, I left my cigarettes and my lighter there, on the chair, and from that moment on, I knew I had been touched by the Lord.

Cheryl Weber:
Wow, that’s amazing. What would you say to somebody who is where you are, feeling like, “My life is going nowhere and I don’t think I can ever change”?

Searita Jones:
I would tell them to call out to God. Jeremiah 33, “The Lord says call unto me and I will answer you.” And even though I thought God didn’t answer, he answered my prayers, and God will answer their prayers, also, but he wants us to come to him under our own free will.

Cheryl Weber:
Thank you so much for coming to share your story today. You are a transformed woman. We so appreciate hearing from you. And transformation is possible.

Hello everyone. This is Pastor Searita of Burning Love Ministry. It’s no surprise that current events have brought the entire world to a new norm. We have been put in a place most of us have never been before. And this place, it’s not isolated to one particular region of the world. It’s not targeting any particular race. It’s not isolated to a particular ethnic group. This thing is all over the world. And never in my life have I seen everything come to a complete standstill, like what we’re experiencing now. I made a personal decision not to call this thing by its name. My pastor and I, we were talking earlier this week and she brought to mind that when we continue to call something by name, we give it power. So, I’ve decided not to call it by name anymore. So, before it became a problem, most of our lives have become so busy that we didn’t have time to recognize or acknowledge God our Father, God our Creator, or our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Life was busy.

The reality is, God had become a nonsignificant factor to most of us. We carried on with our lives, giving little or no reference to him whatsoever. Some of us acted as if we didn’t need him, wouldn’t honor him, didn’t recognize him and some, simply just don’t believe in him at all.

A shaking had to take place. And a shaking so hard that we would cry out to him for help. The first of the Ten Commandments is, “You shall have no other Gods before me.” Friends, we were living life where everything but God was considered important. We could do whatever we wanted to do, go wherever we wanted to go, worship, if we wanted to or not.

One very bold statement that was made towards God, and I’ll just give you an example, was, you could be whatever sex you wanted to be. You didn’t have to be classified as male or female. God created man and woman, but somewhere down the line, someone decided to let God know, apparently you made a mistake when you created me. So, I’m going to change what you design. And you know what happened? It became acceptable to the human race. In the Exodus Chapter 34, it states, “For you shall worship no other God, for the Lord whose name is Jealous is a jealous God.

When we make anything or anyone more important than our Lord and Savior, he doesn’t like that. I want to encourage you today to develop a relationship with God, to read his word. And when you read his word, ask him to give you understanding. When you read, you’ll see what God would do for his people when they obeyed him versus what he would do when they disobeyed him. I believe we stopped fearing God. And now we’re facing a pandemic. But hopefully, this situation that the entire world is facing will bring us to our knees. I pray that it would bring us to a place of repenting. And most of all, that it would bring us to a place where God will now be honored, God would be glorified by our lives and we will have a desire to live righteous and holy before him. Right now, people are praying everywhere, every day, several times a day that this thing will not touch our families, our friends. We’re praying that no more lives would be lost and that it would dry up as quickly as it appeared.

But I believe that something had to happen. Something had to happen to bring us back to God because we drifted away. I am so sorry that we took prayer out of schools. I am so sorry that we want to remove the “In God we trust,” from our currency. The thing is, whenever we start removing God, there will be chaos. 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 the Lord says, “When I shut up heaven and there is no rain or command the locusts to devour the land or send pessimists among my people, if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Right now, our land needs a healing. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. We need a healing right now.

I hope everyone who hears the sound of my voice today will take this time to perform a self examination. I think we need to examine our lives as it is today. Ask yourself some questions. I have three questions I’d like for us to ask. One, “Would God be pleased with how I’m living my life?” The second question, “What do I need to change so that my life lines up with the word of God?” And the most important question of all is, “If I die today, am I saved?” At the end of the day, nothing else is more important. Are you saved? Do you know that your soul would rest with the Lord? Soul insurance is a necessity if you want eternal life with our Father in Heaven. There is a savior and his name is Jesus. God loved us so much that it’s not his will that any man should perish. He loves us. He sent his son to die for you and for me.

In the book of Romans 10:9-10 it says, “If you confess with your mouth, the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart, that God raised him from the dead you shall be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation.”

Hopefully, you have been encouraged today. I pray that you will seek God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. I am going to leave you with one more scripture. The word of God says, “I love those who love me. And those who seek me will diligently find me.” I pray that you would take this time to reflect on your life, that you would take this time to perform a self-examination, but most of all, I pray that you will accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. Thank you and have a blessed day.

Click the video above to listen to the interview with Searita Jones on TLC’s Inspiration for Your Day!

Nicole Georges Bennett spoke with Pastor Searita Jones, the founder of Burning Love ministries about Coronavirus pandemic and her views concerning the inhuman shooting of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

Question: How have you been coping with all the restrictions, the changes that we’ve been going through the last few months here?

Answer: it’s definitely a different way of living for us. We have a new normal now; I have actually been more in the word and prayer more because I expect to come out of this pandemic a different person.

Question: What is God trying to teach us through this time and through this season?  

Answer: I really and truly believe that this was a wakeup call for everyone to be able to examine themselves and examine their lives and their relationship with God.

Question: How tough was it that this came at quite an interesting moment for you because you had just launched your ministry?

Answer: I believe that all things work together for good, for those that love the Lord. I believe that God knows what he’s doing and all situations and the fact that I stay in prayer, and I continue every day to ask God to bless this ministry guide this ministry and direct this ministry. Nothing that happens is out of his control. Whatever roadblocks we come into some in blocks, God is going to see us through it. It really didn’t throw me back in, because there were some legal things that we were dealing with also with the ministry. I believe that all things work together for good, for those that love the board.

Question: The name of your ministry is Burning Love Outreach. You’re coming from. How did you come up with the name Burning Love?

Answer: I didn’t come up with the name. The Lord gave me the name when he spoke to me and told me it is time for you to go and tell your story. I asked God, and I need you to give me a name. I shared it with my husband, so some names came out to me, but I truly just seek God. Tim was listening to a song, and it was called Bernie love. It was about Elvis Presley. When I heard that burning love, I knew that was for me, and I wanted the name to represent me and the way that I feel about God and the way I feel towards human beings. And I really, and truly can tell you, there’s not one person that I don’t love. I don’t have to know you to love you, but that’s what’s in my spirit. So Bernie’s love just truly spoke to my spirit. And I told God to let me know if this is the song and if this is the name, and he did. That’s how we came up with Bernie Love.

Question: What is the purpose of the ministry? What are you hoping to accomplish with the ministry?

Answer: I’ll tell you what our mission statement is. It is to lift up those who are suffering from a life of torment and addiction to one of joy, peace, and positivity through a relationship with God because that is exactly what happened to me. My story was, was unique to myself, but I know exactly the thing that God did for me He would do for someone else who is in the exact same predicament that I was in with drug abuse and addiction. We are looking to help people to change their lives, to get on the right track, to realize that there is greatness in them that they are from a Royal priesthood, that they are children of God, and that they have abilities to positively contribute to society. There Is a great life ahead of them because if you’re addicted to drugs and, and you’re a current user, your life isn’t what it could be is actually in a bit of terminal. So we are here to help, encourage, and inspire those that there is greater out there for them.

Question: What would you say to family members of people who are addicted, and they’ve tried probably all sorts of interventions what encouragement could you give to them?

Answer: I know what that feels like; I try to encourage them not to give up on their loved ones. I try to explain to them that this is a different person because family members know you before you were on drugs, and while you’re on drugs and these are two totally different people that you’re dealing with. I just really try to encourage them not to give up on their loved ones. If they know the power of prayer, I asked them to continue to pray. Don’t stop praying. Prayer is the best thing that we can do for anyone, whether you’re saved or not say; don’t give up on your loved ones. Hopefully they, that person whoever’s using, will come to a place that they want to get help and that they realize that they need help. I am there for the family members also to explain to them that I know exactly what they’re going through and for them not to lose hope on their loved ones,

Question: The situation that is unfolding right now in the US, we’ve got multiple protests actions across several States. As a woman of color yourself, what is on your mind as you look at all of this?

Answer: I am very disturbed by what I saw. I did see the video and being a mother of two African American males and grandmother of African American males. I am concerned by what took place. I think it was senseless killing, and this has been going on for years. This type of racism has been prevalent for years. We were looking at the news; I could only take so much. And whenever anything starts to mix my spirit, I have to remove myself from the situation. I think that this is a systematic problem that needs to be resolved. We have to stay in prayer. I do agree with our pastors that whenever we are confronted with whatever type of situation, prayer is the best thing that we can do now.

 I know that I believe that the word of God is truly being fulfilled. And in 2Timothy:3, it talks about people being without natural affection if ever you can kill something and not feel anything. Especially a human being, no matter what the color of their skin is, no matter what they have done, if you can take the life of someone else and not feel anything, this man is gasping for breath. He’s saying he cannot breath, but yet you keep your knee on his neck. It is not right. I think that the Bible is truly being fulfilled in every way, shape, and form. We are seeing it unfold in the last few months. Almost daily. I do not agree with the looting and the burning, but when people feel that they are not being heard, they react, and some react in the only way that they know-how and some kind of way that frustration has to get out. Unfortunately, the looting and the burning of buildings take place. But I believe that racism is a spirit too. I believe this sin is a spirit. And whenever we’re dealing with spirits, we know what the word of God says that the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy. He doesn’t discriminate and doesn’t care who or what he uses to accomplish what his mission is. I usually take a spiritual look on everything, but I am human and have feelings just like everyone else does. I realized that this needs to stop. It does not need to continue, but we need to need to be open and honest. I also believe we can talk to our African American male children and have an open and honest dialogue with them about what’s going on and what they need to do if they ever come in having an encounter with a law enforcement officer.

Question: What do you think of the argument that some black activists have been putting out recently that we are too forgiving as a race. Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?

Answer: I look at things with a spiritual eye. You don’t know what those people’s relationship is with the Lord. And if it’s in their heart to forgive the person who has been accused or violate it, who are we to say that they should not forgive? Who are we to say that they’re being too forgiving? Because from what I read, they are following what Jesus has commanded us to do. We have to forgive; forgiveness frees the big stuff. It frees the person who has been violated. If someone chooses to forgive, who am I to say that they should not forget? Does the system need to change? Yes, it does. That’s hearts need to change. Yes, it does that. Does that make it right? But I don’t think that we can go around and say that we’re too forgiving. No, but I think some changes definitely need to be made in the system and that it needs to be brought to the forefront. I also feel that it would be helpful if, especially, some of our strong spiritual leaders to stand up and say, this is not right. That our African American men cannot jog in a neighborhood that they cannot be arrested and apprehended in the way of proper protocol and procedures of the way that it’s supposed to be done. They should be treated the same way; their white counterparts are being treated. We should stop looking at each other with the eye of color and look at each other as a human race. That may sound cliché, but I think that is exactly what needs to be done. We have to start looking at each other as individuals, as human beings. And besides trying to let racism stick in and say, okay, I don’t like black people, so I’m going to do whatever I can to this guy. And if it means killing him, I kill him. I just don’t think that that’s right. We have to have the heart of the Lord. We have to have the heart of Jesus. If we are going to stand before him, I don’t know about anybody else, but I know when I stand before God, I wanted to hear him say, well done, my good and faithful servant.

I just pray that people would be blessed through this ministry. I asked for their prayers. I asked that I would continue to listen to the Lord and hear from God and be directed from God as to how he wants me to operate and run this ministry.

If you have any comments please email us at [email protected].